( SMOKERS ATTENTION ) MANY WAY TO LIGHT A CIGARETTE

Question: You are in a boat in the middle of a river. You have 2 Cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette. You don't have anything else with you in the boat? How will you do it? Answer: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat will become LIGHTER ...using this LIGHTER you can light the other Cigarette another deadly answer... Another solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can light the cigarette If that was not enough, one more deadly answer... Take water in your hand and drop it drop by drop...(TIP - TIP) "TIP TIP barsa Pani. Pani ne aag lagayee." us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee". If that was not enough even uptill now, one more deadly answer... hehehehehe Start praising one cigarette, The other will get jealous & "jalney lagega"

NEW RULES & REGULATION

HUMOROUS HRD NOTICE OF XYZ COMPANY TO ALL EMPLOYEES [ A circular was found in one of the office notice boards] Dear STAFF, Please be advised that these are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm. TRANSPORTATION : It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary. a) If we see you driving a Honda , we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. b) If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation, we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise. c) If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise. ANNUAL LEAVE : Each employee will receive 52 Annual Leave days a year ( Wow!said 1 employee).- They are called SUNDAYs . LUNCH BREAK : a) Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy. b) Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. c) Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill. SICK DAYS : We will no longer accept a doctor Medical Cert as proof of sickness. - If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. TOILET USE : Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilets. a) There is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the cubicles. b) At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the door will open and a picture will be taken. c) After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category. d) Subsequent pictures will be sold at public auctions to raise money to pay your salary. SURGERY : As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. - You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. - To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment. INTERNET USAGE : All personal Internet usage will be recorded and charges will be deducted from your bonus (if any) and if we decide not to give you any, charges will be deducted from your salary. - Important Note : Charges applicable as Rs.20 per minute as we have 4MB connection. Just for information, 73% of staff willnot be entitled to any salary for next 3 months as their Internet charges have exceeded their 3 months salary. Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

RajiniKanth

1. Give respect to the Actor whose films has bagged the Global audience. 2. A Modest and a simple person who does not show any publicity for his films or himself. 3. Does not act in any Ads for popularity. 4. Highest paid Actor in India. 5. Films budget stands nearly 100 Crores. 6. Top three persons who pays Tax perfectly in India after Sachin and Siranjeevi. 7. Public donations and welfare to many people. 8. Runs schools for free without donations. 9. Has the power to enter politics but speaks i can do good to people without that badge. 10. One Among Top 50 Powerful persons in India. 11. Has said Big B is emperor and i am just a king though he is the Indian superstar. 12. Respects every person and fans all over the world. 13. Fans all over the world from India to various countries. 14. Aamir Khan has said, he is one of fans of RajiniKanth and He is the Indian superstar. 15. Salman khan said RajiniKanth is the Indian superstar. 16. Producers are in que for his films, sony says i am ready to invest 100+ crores and many others. Will any other actor apart from Aamir Khan would take a risk of investing money on stories and himself? We Tamils and Indians are not mad of him, we have a high respect for this legend who has come up from a low family and reached the heights without any help. Jai Hind! We Must be proud for a person like him.